Honoring Your Loss During the Holidays

We believe that a spiritual message is behind the good things that happen in our lives but why is it so hard to put the same spiritual message behind the bad? There’s a balance to good and bad, happy and sad, and joy and pain. As hard as it may sound, we should thankful in every loss, lesson, and painful life experience so that we can reap the benefits in abundance. Losing a mother, or any parent, is a pain that nothing can fill the void of but celebrating life is the best outcome to grieving the loss.  Mothers, you carry your bond with your mother in your heart and spirit. Even though the physical is not here, it’s up to you to keep her alive within you. Honor your cherished memories. You are blessed to keep her spirit alive through your actions, thoughts, and gifts to others. The holidays can be hard, whether it’s the first year without your mom or the 25th year but you are not alone. I used to get envious of other mother/daughters relationships but that bitterness didn’t allow me to heal. That bitterness kept me from loving my children wholeheartedly and blocked my relationship with them. I want nothing but to be the best mother to them but my grieving caused emotions that hindered my celebration of life. Everything happens for a reason and none of our stories are the same but we will make it through this holiday and everyday, as inspiration to our selves and others by celebrating our mother within us. It’s okay to cry and miss mommies  love and hugs; however, when you want it for yourself…how about giving it to your children in return and that’s twice...

A Motherless Mother’s Letter to Self on Depression

Written by Paula Jones Dear Old Self, People tell you all the time to take care of yourself, do what makes you happy, don’t depend on anybody to give you joy, and you have to learn to let people go and live their lives. I wake up every morning with the intent to be happy. But when you struggle with “depression” there are some triggers that can decrease your mood within seconds. It has nothing to do with people stealing your joy and you depending on them to make you happy. It’s an illness that is medically explained, that people don’t take the time to research. They tell you, do other things to distract your mood. Don’t you think, if I could, I would? One trigger, is the death of my mother. I grew privileged but learned everything about life from peers and the streets. My mama was raised a certain way that she gave me the love she received from her childhood.  There wasn’t much affection or attention but a lot of fussing, ridicule and tough love. It was hard some days wishing I had my mother to hug me, kiss me, and say, I love you because she didn’t do those things, she expected me to know. Now that she’s resting in heaven, I wish she was here to give me that tough love. My lifeline is void & I miss her. My heart grieves for my daddy whose home is lonely. I can’t imagine his grief. I have my husband & kids but what’s special to me was becoming a grandmother. It gives me joy having...

Who the hell do I think I am? Bedtime confessions.

Super Mom??? Yeah, No! “Not I, said the cat.” Who are these mothers that do it all?  Because this sh!t is no joke. So I’m returning to school and taking 5 classes 3 days a week and an online class, while doing a 15 hours a week internship with 2 sons ages 7 and 4. On top of all that, I’m trying to get this nonprofit off the ground.  It’s week 2 and I am tired!!! I’ve started taking a multivitamin with the energy and metabolism boost and I’m waiting for it to kick in. So far, I’ve managed to stay on top of my homework, the kids homework, And still manage to handle Mommies Without Mommies business but I’m praying every night to just let me make it to October since that’s when I’ll be done with my internship. One would think, if I managed a full-time job and going to school part-time with 2 kids, you can do this.  Nah! I’m on a new level and this time I’m operating with the intent to crush this school semester with A’s in every class while doing it all. See, I’ve been trying to finish college since 1998 but I always half-assed it since I wasn’t 100% sure what I wanted to do with my life. I’ve come across so many people with degrees in BS for the sake of having a degree. I guess that’s okay, but for me it would have been just a piece of paper. When I decided I didn’t want to teach and changed my major to liberal arts, I could have just taken some random...